CHICAGO (AP): In what appears to be one of the largest hoaxes ever uncovered, it is alleged that software companies, video and still camera manufacturers, and Apple have teamed up to drive a Chicago woman crazy.
Dawn Dall, a Lincoln Square resident who plans to apply for what's been called The Best Job in the World, is at her wit's end with "this whole video fiasco." The job, located on Australia's Great Barrier Reef, has few responsibilities but many perks. A 6-month stint targeted to increase tourism on the reef, the job pays 150,000 Australian dollars and requires only that the successful applicant snorkel, explore the island, perform a few minor tasks, and blog about the experience on the tourism website.
To apply, a 60-second video application must be uploaded to the job website, http://www.islandreefjob.com/. However, this is proving to be more difficult than Dall had imagined. She reportedly borrowed a new Sony Handycam from a friend to record footage of her volunteer experience, diving at Chicago's Shedd Aquarium. After purchasing the required 8-cm DVD-Rs from a local electronics store, taking a few quick videos at home to learn how to use the camera, and arranging taping with another friend, she obtained some good shots to use in the application.
More filming at home produced an introduction and the basic audio track, describing why Dall feels that she is perfect for the job. Joselito Seldera, a friend attending film school in California, offered to edit the video, adding photos of Dall's related experiences. With filming complete, Dall set to going through the files on the DVD-Rs but found that they were invisible to her computer.
After installing the camera's software on her PC, the files were viewable but in an unheard-of format. Seldera said he worked best in imovie, Apple's editing software, so she set about finding a file converter. Turns out the Handycam-bundled software would convert the files to MPEG-2 format, more recognizable but still relatively useless since a few Google inquiries later indicated that imovie doesn't work well with MPEG-2 files, if at all.
Another suggestion by Seldera sent Dall to the home of another Mac user, David White, to determine if newer versions of imovie could convert either the original or converted MPEG files to quicktime. "Dave asked me how to use the 8-cm discs, and I told him there's an adapter in the CD tray that it fits into perfectly. He said 'Mine doesn't have a tray but I bet it'll figure out that it's a small disc and adjust for it...it's pretty smart.'"
Turns out, the Mac wasn't as smart as they thought. White slid the disc into the drive, and when nothing happened, they got worried. Another quick Google search told them that Macs are not equipped to handle the diminutive discs, and to get it out, the drive would have to be removed and disassembled. Frantically searching the fedora-strewn apartment for a pair of tweezers, White had what can only be described as a MacGyver moment. "We need something skinny, with a hook on one end, to reach in there and grab it by the hole in the middle," he said.
A few minutes later, reshaped paper clip in hand, White was able to excise the disc from the drive harmlessly, and both breathed a little easier. The task at hand, though, was no nearer completion. Without the ability to read the mini DVDs, there was no way to convert the files. Dall headed home, feeling defeated and nearly hopeless.
A thought came to her while sitting in traffic - her Canon Powershot could record short movie clips, long enough for the application video. What file type would they be? With a Toys for Tots Parade video on her camera, this was easy to determine: .avi. Yet another Google search turned up the same result: imovie doesn't like this file type either, and conversions were often problematic.
At her wit's end, Dall is almost ready to give up, record a crappy video on the Canon, and call it a day. "Why are there so many file types? Why don't any of mine work with imovie? Who makes cameras that DO work with imovie? Why does Sony make it so hard to edit videos taken with their cameras? How are all these other applicants making cool-looking movies?"
The answer to these questions may never be known. It is clear that Sony, Canon, Apple, and the other 10,000-plus applicants who know what they're doing are in cahoots to prevent Dall from applying to the job. "They must be really worried," Dall says. "I'm perfect for the job that they all want."
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Rescue at Sea
In February of 2004, I went on a dive trip with some friends from the Shedd Aquarium to Curacao, which is located in the southwest Caribbean Sea between Aruba and Bonaire. I was not used to the diving style on Curacao which, unlike Cozumel with which I was most familiar, doesn’t rely heavily on drift diving. I love drifting along with the current – flying along with almost no physical effort combined with the opportunity to see more of the underwater landscape makes me a happy diver. On Curacao, since there’s very little current, the majority of dives involve descending to a “deep” level, say 80 feet, and swimming along for awhile, then ascending to maybe 50-60 feet, turning around, and swimming back to the moored boat. You see different sea life at different levels, so it’s not all bad – just a little more exertion than drifting.
On perhaps our third day of diving, we were on our way back to the boat when I spotted something off in the distance that looked worth investigating. I pointed it out to my dive buddy Emily, and we headed over to check it out. As we got closer, we saw that it was a cage of some kind, with a wood frame covered in chicken wire, and we could see something inside it. The “something” turned out to be 2 very large green moray eels, parts of several fish, and a couple of live fish. I took out my noisemaker, shook it, and motioned for the divemaster to come take a look. He could still see us but couldn’t make out what we were so interested in; I’m sure it looked like junk from his vantage point because he was looking at us like we were crazy. When he was close enough to see what was inside, his eyes nearly popped out of his head.
There were no obvious openings in the cage to let out the eels – no door, nothing. The divemaster took over untwisting the chicken wire and, after about 10 minutes, opened up a hole large enough for the eels and fish to escape. The fish got out relatively quickly. Eels, however, are quite blind and pretty darn lazy during the day, so they didn’t seem terribly interested in the rescue attempt. We finally picked up the cage, flipped it upside down so that the opening was at the bottom, and shook it until the eels made their way out. They swam off into deeper water to find themselves new homes without a word of thanks.
On perhaps our third day of diving, we were on our way back to the boat when I spotted something off in the distance that looked worth investigating. I pointed it out to my dive buddy Emily, and we headed over to check it out. As we got closer, we saw that it was a cage of some kind, with a wood frame covered in chicken wire, and we could see something inside it. The “something” turned out to be 2 very large green moray eels, parts of several fish, and a couple of live fish. I took out my noisemaker, shook it, and motioned for the divemaster to come take a look. He could still see us but couldn’t make out what we were so interested in; I’m sure it looked like junk from his vantage point because he was looking at us like we were crazy. When he was close enough to see what was inside, his eyes nearly popped out of his head.
There were no obvious openings in the cage to let out the eels – no door, nothing. The divemaster took over untwisting the chicken wire and, after about 10 minutes, opened up a hole large enough for the eels and fish to escape. The fish got out relatively quickly. Eels, however, are quite blind and pretty darn lazy during the day, so they didn’t seem terribly interested in the rescue attempt. We finally picked up the cage, flipped it upside down so that the opening was at the bottom, and shook it until the eels made their way out. They swam off into deeper water to find themselves new homes without a word of thanks.
Monday, February 9, 2009
Blondie
Today I was meeting a friend for lunch. I went out to my little V-dub Jetta, took out my remote key, and pressed the unlock button - but nothing happened. I pressed it again - maybe I didn't push hard enough. Nothing. Again - third time's the charm! Not this time. OK, is my battery dead? Try the lock button and see what happens. That works. Hm. How about the trunk button? Yep, trunk opens. OK, I'm standing in the parking lot with a remote that won't open the doors of my car...the alarm is on, and the button that turns it off is apparently broken. If I get in through the trunk and start the car, I wonder if the alarm will go off? Figuring a call to my dealership is in order, I decide to save that for after lunch and call my friend, who is on his way to the restaurant. "You've got to come pick me up," I say.
"What? Why?"
"My remote is broken and I can't get into my car."
"Did you try the key?"
Shit.
"What? Why?"
"My remote is broken and I can't get into my car."
"Did you try the key?"
Shit.
Monday, February 2, 2009
25 things...
Let's pretend this is a blog entry.
1. I have a terrible imagination. Growing up, I never had any imaginary friends.
2. I subscribe heavily to the belief that anyone driving slower than me is an IDIOT and anyone driving faster than me is a MANIAC. (I am trying to overcome this by also subscribing to Glen's more rational belief that everyone has their own agenda and is not purposely out to mess with me, but the evidence continues to point in the idiot/maniac direction.)
3. Poor grammar drives me crazy, especially your/you're, their/they're/there, and affect/effect, but random capitalization I don't mind so much.
4. I have always known how to swim. I love the water, scuba diving and snorkeling. Being in murky water scares me a little, and while I think surfing would be a lot of fun to learn, I have much respect for sharks. Seeing them while scuba diving is a huge thrill and I seek them out, but being on the surface of the water looking like a helpless seal (a.k.a., "dinner") is not really my cup of tea.
5. I am not an introspective person.
6. I've had 3 surgeries in my life: Tonsilectomy at age 4, a hysterectomy at 26 due to cervical cancer, and bunion surgery on both feet at 34. Coincidentally, I've also had stitches 3 times (not counting the surgery stitches). I ran into a shopping cart, impaled myself hanging on a tree by my armpit, and bit through my lower lip.
7. I have never had a desire to have kids. One of my dad's favorite stories about me is that one day when I was in high school, he asked me if I wanted to have kids in the future, and I said no. He asked why, and I said "Because they might turn out like Kristi." (My sister.)
8. I believe that fate sometimes takes naps, but she was wide awake and possibly on several lines of cocaine when I met Glen. The number of things that happened to bring us together is, even in retrospect, quite staggering. It's a "25 Things" list in itself.
9. I gravitate towards comedies almost exclusively when it comes to movies, which drives Glen up the wall. I do like other kinds of movies, but have to be pushed to see them. However, I am proud to say that I have never seen Titanic, and I walked out of Pearl Harbor after I realized that a) it was awful, and b) the majority of the attack scene was ripped off from Star Wars: A New Hope. Check it out if you don't believe me.
Now for a sub-list: My favorite comedies of all time, in no particular order: Spaceballs, Animal House, Caddyshack, The Breakfast Club, Airplane!, Weird Science, Tropic Thunder, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, Office Space, Old School. I've probably seen The Breakfast Club over 100 times. I used to watch it every day after school.
10. When I perform a routine task, such as getting ready for work in the morning, I have a need for efficiency. Everything I do is done in a precise order to make the best use of the time allotted. Running is my favorite exercise because it gives the most benefit in the least amount of time.
11. Shopping frustrates me immensely, because it's so hard for me to find things that I like and because I hate spending money on clothes. Last night I had a dream that I found a pair of purple suede John Fluevog high-heeled boots, and they were the most beautiful boots I'd ever seen and matched the dress I was wearing perfectly, but I didn't buy them because they were waaaaay too expensive. (Also I think I was a teacher, which is strange, but that's beside the point.)
12. I count stairs when I go up & down them, and sometimes when I walk I count each step. A very mild form of OCD, to be sure, but I know it's not bad because I don't care if I stop counting. It was helpful in our last apartment because I could go up and down the back stairs with laundry or groceries and didn't have to worry about missing a step and killing myself.
13. Glen thinks I'm quite clumsy, but really I'm just not paying attention. I've got enough things going on in my mind without having to think about not running headlong into a wall.
14. I am a certified scuba diver and I have my pilot's license (though it's not current). Taking #2 into account, my friend Glenn once labeled me "a menace on land, in the air, and at sea". He has also called me "International Woman of Mystery". I approve of both.
15. I love my Jetta but think it's a cruel twist of fate that I bought the one car that has an ignition wire too short to allow for installation of a remote starter. (There's fate again, awake and sniffing glue.)
16. I'm definitely a summer person. Like Paige, I can sit outside in the summer heat all day and be very happy, as long as I've got my trusty sunscreen. I despise the cold. I don't mind snow except when I have to drive to work (see #2), and have enjoyed my attempts at snowboarding. But I get cold very easily and my body temperature runs low, so it's hard for me to be comfortable in the winter. I've developed a nice relationship with cashmere over the years.
17. Just because you crank up the distortion on your guitar does not mean you are rocking out.
18. I'm a volunteer diver at the Shedd Aquarium and I love it. My dive buddies are great and I love getting out of the water and talking to people, especially kids, about what I do. I get a kick out of hearing people say "Hey look, she's the one who was just in the tank!" It's like they think we're not real people in there. Robot divers!!
19. I like punk rock and swing music. Opposite ends of the spectrum, you say? That's just how I roll.
20. I wish I were more creative. Trying to think of a creative, funny video for The Best Job in the World is frustrating the hell out of me.
21. I tried to learn bass guitar in college. I played in a band at a graduation party; one of the songs we played was the theme to "Laverne & Shirley". I later played in another band where I was so obviously the least talented person that I had to quit to allow them to find someone better.
22. In high school, I was voted "Most Likely to Be the Next MacGyver", probably due more to my excellence in all my science classes than my ability to defuse a bomb with a paper clip. That has yet to be tested.
23. I've always liked football, but I thought baseball was the most boring game in the world until Glen came along and explained it to me. It took about a year, and of course I'm still learning, but now I understand it better than most people and I enjoy it. I'm a Bears, Cubs, and Red Sox fan.
24. I hate cleaning but I like the result when I do it.
25. Glen's sarcastic, weird sense of humor cracks me up, and it's one of my favorite things about him. He's definitely my best friend.
1. I have a terrible imagination. Growing up, I never had any imaginary friends.
2. I subscribe heavily to the belief that anyone driving slower than me is an IDIOT and anyone driving faster than me is a MANIAC. (I am trying to overcome this by also subscribing to Glen's more rational belief that everyone has their own agenda and is not purposely out to mess with me, but the evidence continues to point in the idiot/maniac direction.)
3. Poor grammar drives me crazy, especially your/you're, their/they're/there, and affect/effect, but random capitalization I don't mind so much.
4. I have always known how to swim. I love the water, scuba diving and snorkeling. Being in murky water scares me a little, and while I think surfing would be a lot of fun to learn, I have much respect for sharks. Seeing them while scuba diving is a huge thrill and I seek them out, but being on the surface of the water looking like a helpless seal (a.k.a., "dinner") is not really my cup of tea.
5. I am not an introspective person.
6. I've had 3 surgeries in my life: Tonsilectomy at age 4, a hysterectomy at 26 due to cervical cancer, and bunion surgery on both feet at 34. Coincidentally, I've also had stitches 3 times (not counting the surgery stitches). I ran into a shopping cart, impaled myself hanging on a tree by my armpit, and bit through my lower lip.
7. I have never had a desire to have kids. One of my dad's favorite stories about me is that one day when I was in high school, he asked me if I wanted to have kids in the future, and I said no. He asked why, and I said "Because they might turn out like Kristi." (My sister.)
8. I believe that fate sometimes takes naps, but she was wide awake and possibly on several lines of cocaine when I met Glen. The number of things that happened to bring us together is, even in retrospect, quite staggering. It's a "25 Things" list in itself.
9. I gravitate towards comedies almost exclusively when it comes to movies, which drives Glen up the wall. I do like other kinds of movies, but have to be pushed to see them. However, I am proud to say that I have never seen Titanic, and I walked out of Pearl Harbor after I realized that a) it was awful, and b) the majority of the attack scene was ripped off from Star Wars: A New Hope. Check it out if you don't believe me.
Now for a sub-list: My favorite comedies of all time, in no particular order: Spaceballs, Animal House, Caddyshack, The Breakfast Club, Airplane!, Weird Science, Tropic Thunder, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, Office Space, Old School. I've probably seen The Breakfast Club over 100 times. I used to watch it every day after school.
10. When I perform a routine task, such as getting ready for work in the morning, I have a need for efficiency. Everything I do is done in a precise order to make the best use of the time allotted. Running is my favorite exercise because it gives the most benefit in the least amount of time.
11. Shopping frustrates me immensely, because it's so hard for me to find things that I like and because I hate spending money on clothes. Last night I had a dream that I found a pair of purple suede John Fluevog high-heeled boots, and they were the most beautiful boots I'd ever seen and matched the dress I was wearing perfectly, but I didn't buy them because they were waaaaay too expensive. (Also I think I was a teacher, which is strange, but that's beside the point.)
12. I count stairs when I go up & down them, and sometimes when I walk I count each step. A very mild form of OCD, to be sure, but I know it's not bad because I don't care if I stop counting. It was helpful in our last apartment because I could go up and down the back stairs with laundry or groceries and didn't have to worry about missing a step and killing myself.
13. Glen thinks I'm quite clumsy, but really I'm just not paying attention. I've got enough things going on in my mind without having to think about not running headlong into a wall.
14. I am a certified scuba diver and I have my pilot's license (though it's not current). Taking #2 into account, my friend Glenn once labeled me "a menace on land, in the air, and at sea". He has also called me "International Woman of Mystery". I approve of both.
15. I love my Jetta but think it's a cruel twist of fate that I bought the one car that has an ignition wire too short to allow for installation of a remote starter. (There's fate again, awake and sniffing glue.)
16. I'm definitely a summer person. Like Paige, I can sit outside in the summer heat all day and be very happy, as long as I've got my trusty sunscreen. I despise the cold. I don't mind snow except when I have to drive to work (see #2), and have enjoyed my attempts at snowboarding. But I get cold very easily and my body temperature runs low, so it's hard for me to be comfortable in the winter. I've developed a nice relationship with cashmere over the years.
17. Just because you crank up the distortion on your guitar does not mean you are rocking out.
18. I'm a volunteer diver at the Shedd Aquarium and I love it. My dive buddies are great and I love getting out of the water and talking to people, especially kids, about what I do. I get a kick out of hearing people say "Hey look, she's the one who was just in the tank!" It's like they think we're not real people in there. Robot divers!!
19. I like punk rock and swing music. Opposite ends of the spectrum, you say? That's just how I roll.
20. I wish I were more creative. Trying to think of a creative, funny video for The Best Job in the World is frustrating the hell out of me.
21. I tried to learn bass guitar in college. I played in a band at a graduation party; one of the songs we played was the theme to "Laverne & Shirley". I later played in another band where I was so obviously the least talented person that I had to quit to allow them to find someone better.
22. In high school, I was voted "Most Likely to Be the Next MacGyver", probably due more to my excellence in all my science classes than my ability to defuse a bomb with a paper clip. That has yet to be tested.
23. I've always liked football, but I thought baseball was the most boring game in the world until Glen came along and explained it to me. It took about a year, and of course I'm still learning, but now I understand it better than most people and I enjoy it. I'm a Bears, Cubs, and Red Sox fan.
24. I hate cleaning but I like the result when I do it.
25. Glen's sarcastic, weird sense of humor cracks me up, and it's one of my favorite things about him. He's definitely my best friend.
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
A more positive approach
Moving right along…I received some feedback about my first attempt at the blog. I realized that I pretty much just complained about the weather and that it wasn’t terribly interesting or exciting, and that I need to be more positive. As you may have learned from the tone of entry #1, being positive isn’t my strong suit in the middle of winter! So here goes, entry #2, short and hopefully a little sweeter:
I woke up this morning to Glen’s alarm clock, which unfortunately is set to go off about an hour after mine. Jumping up immediately and racing through the morning routine, I remembered that the weather report called for a couple inches of new snow overnight. Sure enough, everything was coated with a nice fresh layer when I got outside. The upside is that it covered up the grimy, salty mess that I complained about yesterday and improved the view on the very slow drive in to work.
I woke up this morning to Glen’s alarm clock, which unfortunately is set to go off about an hour after mine. Jumping up immediately and racing through the morning routine, I remembered that the weather report called for a couple inches of new snow overnight. Sure enough, everything was coated with a nice fresh layer when I got outside. The upside is that it covered up the grimy, salty mess that I complained about yesterday and improved the view on the very slow drive in to work.
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
This Time of Year
Well, I've got to start somewhere. And at this time of year, the main thing on my mind is keeping warm, so I suppose that's as good a place as any.
When Glen and I moved this summer, I was stunned to find that I personally own no less than 6 scarves, 5 hats, 8 pairs of gloves, two pair of snow boots, and three winter coats. I had an entire storage bin of winter accessories. (Practically my whole summer wardrobe fits in another one.) Even all geared up, I'm still always the coldest person in the room.
This Chicago winter has been brutal. We've had a ridiculous number of snowfalls, most of which have been immediately followed by arctic cold. Just when the cold lets up, it snows again, repeating the seemingly never-ending cycle. And it's not pretty. When the snow starts falling early in the season, you can't help but think how beautiful it looks - a nice little layer of soft, fluffy white stuff covering the city. Now, everywhere you look you see dirty, salty, rock-hard piles of nastiness. The temperature hasn't risen above freezing for more than a day or so in weeks, not nearly long enough to melt much of anything. What snow does disappear seems to do so by sublimation.
My car, once a lovely champagne color, is now the dull, ashen gray of a corpse. I can't wash it because it would just freeze all the windows and doors shut - not that I've opened a window in weeks, mind you. Yesterday evening when I looked out the window I couldn't tell if it had snowed again or if it was just the reflection of the salty crust that covers the parking lot and cars. (It was the salt.)
A few weeks ago I went to have my hair done. It had snowed overnight and into the morning, and I didn't think I'd be able to park at the salon, so I took the bus. I figured I'd be doing the Earth a favor and saving myself a headache. On my way home I got off the bus and, as soon as the bus pulled away, was immediately splattered by a snowplow. I marched straight inside, threw my clothes into the washer, started the fire, and poured myself a glass of wine.
When Glen and I moved this summer, I was stunned to find that I personally own no less than 6 scarves, 5 hats, 8 pairs of gloves, two pair of snow boots, and three winter coats. I had an entire storage bin of winter accessories. (Practically my whole summer wardrobe fits in another one.) Even all geared up, I'm still always the coldest person in the room.
This Chicago winter has been brutal. We've had a ridiculous number of snowfalls, most of which have been immediately followed by arctic cold. Just when the cold lets up, it snows again, repeating the seemingly never-ending cycle. And it's not pretty. When the snow starts falling early in the season, you can't help but think how beautiful it looks - a nice little layer of soft, fluffy white stuff covering the city. Now, everywhere you look you see dirty, salty, rock-hard piles of nastiness. The temperature hasn't risen above freezing for more than a day or so in weeks, not nearly long enough to melt much of anything. What snow does disappear seems to do so by sublimation.
My car, once a lovely champagne color, is now the dull, ashen gray of a corpse. I can't wash it because it would just freeze all the windows and doors shut - not that I've opened a window in weeks, mind you. Yesterday evening when I looked out the window I couldn't tell if it had snowed again or if it was just the reflection of the salty crust that covers the parking lot and cars. (It was the salt.)
A few weeks ago I went to have my hair done. It had snowed overnight and into the morning, and I didn't think I'd be able to park at the salon, so I took the bus. I figured I'd be doing the Earth a favor and saving myself a headache. On my way home I got off the bus and, as soon as the bus pulled away, was immediately splattered by a snowplow. I marched straight inside, threw my clothes into the washer, started the fire, and poured myself a glass of wine.
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